Worst Questions to Ask Sex Workers: Question 1- "Would You Want Your Daughter Being a...."

This is the first blog entry in a series of bad questions to ask sex workers.  I was going to list these all in one entry, but then noticed my commentary on the first question was long enough for an entire blog entry.  Thus, I'll do each question as a separate entry with the first question in this one.  

Unfortunately, these questions are all too often asked in interviews.  This is one reasons I prefer not to do interviews and just post here where I can speak in my own voice instead of being pressured to conform to the narrative somebody else is trying to portray of sex workers.  However, I have appreciated being interviewed by sex workers and people with a nuanced and respectful perspective of sex workers beyond just the stereotypes and cliches. These interviews mainly focused on advocacy issues and sex workers' human rights.  

Such "questions" to be critiqued here are more often statements worded as questions rather than actual questions, and lead the sex worker to respond a certain way.  Sometimes, wording a statement as a question can be a powerful way to express a valid point, thought-provoking, and advocate for justice.  Unfortunately the questions I'm going to critique in this blog series are not even if they seem compassionate on the surface.  I cannot speak for every sex worker, and this is just based on my input.  Here's the first disrespectful question (to put it politely) sex workers get asked of this blog series: 

1.  "Would you want your daughter being a prostitute (or porn star or stripper... you fill in the blank)"  This statement masquerading as a question is very judgmental and slut-shames sex workers.  It's sexist in the sense that it's geared toward female sex workers and uses the word "daughter," even though daughters aren't the only ones who become sex workers.  Maybe this is because most sex workers are female, but still... In the case of porn if we factor gay materials into the mix, there may be at least as many male performers in the industry overall.  The only time I've noticed this question asked was to women sex workers.

This "question" is worded in such a way that no matter how sex workers answer, we can be discredited.  If we say "yes, I'd love for my daughter to become a sex worker," then we're perceived as horrible mothers based on the stigmas against sex workers or just assumed to be dishonest.  However, we can still be criticized if we respond "no, I would never want my daughter being a sex worker."  In such cases, we can be perceived as hypocritical since we do sex work ourselves, or anything we say about sex work that isn't totally negative can be discredited.

Here's a good way to respond to this question.  If somebody asks it, we can respond with more questions in the form of statements.  Something like this:

"If you're really trying to make a statement in the form of question, why not ask:  Would you want your daughter being slut-shamed for what she does with her body?  Would you want your daughter being persecuted for what she does with her body?  No matter whether I want my daughter to become a (fill in the blank), I want her to have working conditions as safe and as sanitary as possible and I don't want her to experience violence or abuse.  I want her boundaries to be respected."

Well, here you have it.  The first bad question of this blog series and why it's disrespectful to say this to sex workers.  As somebody who also wishes to focus on the positives, I plan to also do a blog series on the best questions to ask sex workers.  

What other questions do you add to the list as being the worst questions sex workers are asked?